Being Bahamian - Recap the rap

I wasn't able to post after the first day because I don't like to write. No, I'm kidding. The computer I was using was borrowed from my step dad who had to use it for work, and was busy most of the time. Also, my experiences were, unfortunately, short lived.

After being "hi-jacked" almost four times after the first day, things were looking grim, not to mention the weather fouled on the fourth day. Four wasn't really our lucky number. We weren't able to dive or fish after our first run on Sunday and Monday. But all in all the time was good.

We went out to a spot in the southern part of Nassau, and swam through a coral reef, a ship wreck, and saw some extremely unreal views of a resort/mansion owned by a guy named Nieger (spelling?). I'll have a post somewhere on flickr (http://www.flickr.com/photos/camarofloyd) when I develop them.

I'm sitting here after a cigarette I smoked, and I'm somewhat empty of energy. It's hard to explain, but it usually happens after a point of uneventful moments. I try to knock myself out, and try to think things out, but I'm still lost in a space of confusion. I ask God for help, relapse through the past, and try to find myself once again.

I have a new Ipod Nano, that I am planning on using as a portal for music interests as I flow through hiphop's past. But really, right now, I'm tired, and a bit sick. I'm not sure, but it's usually the same source, a leaking energy I have within. A lack of productivity is usually to blame, but mainly my lack of connection and vision to the world and my own destiny.

I sit back. The taste of cigarette smoke and menthol slurs around my mouth, and my migraine thumps a little more. Destination is still unclear.

The Bahamas could have been more, but I think my lesson there was well learned. Be real. That's what I have experienced. When I was in Nassau, I felt somewhat detached from upper civilization, and in a way, it was good. It gave me perspective.

I am typing now, really uncertain about things... and I look at my writing and I feel it is empty, lacking power, lacking vision, lacking what I want to convey. I feel I have to write so much, extend so much energy to get a feeling into words. It doesn't work. I listen to music, and there is something there. Something quick and simple that conveys a feeling. The energy and emotion is there. It pumps the blood and moves the body. The words align the mind and the beat is the convoy, the pathway of connection that perpetrates the thoughts. There is something there that I want to integrate into my own methods, something I want to connect with myself. I want to make music, I want to flow my mind onto paper and construct my own perspective onto life's test and God's path that is laid for me. I want to rap, I want to flow and be free with words and thought. I want to begin a pathway, a method, my own style.

I relax, I feel, I connect... I begin.

The pieces are set, and taken within
I feel the power moving, theres nothing to sin
When the time comes, to open and close
Theres the pendulum swinging, confident in prose
Nothing so close, a pin drop and flows
Take my love and take my mind, Your the one that I find
Believe me and take me, I'm yours now o course
Don't lead me away, from the time that is yours
There's a connection between us, a feeling thats true
I'm no longer blind, but now and new
Whenever there is darkness, I feel and see
The doorway is shining, the light is free
A step brings me closer, to a life that is pure
I can only hope now, the distance is short
My feet lead me, in the darkness of light
I jump headfirst, in a world filled a trife
No problems arise, and nothing to excite
I wish only for God, and what is the knife
I reach out for the answers and see the unknown
Mistaking the world, for the future thats grown
But lacking the history, and the past of the wise
I can only walk down, a roadway of skys
To a sea of answers, but the lake is just ice
I walk on water, but the cracks are sewn rice
Must you take me down, through the sheets so thin
The future is not certain, but my willingness is gin
I seek what thou know, and have brought to us all
The kingdom of heaven, a reality thats calm
My words pass now, the passage is closed
Take with you a beat, and now this post
So I want to rhyme further, and express my self deeper
But the words are new now, can't make that sound realer
So I'll close this blog, with a rhyme that I send
About which its time, so go now my friend
Begin what you send.

Peace.